I am slowly... very very slowly counting gifts of the Father along with a gratitude community over at A Holy Experience with Ann Voskamp.
The goal is 1000. The past 3 days have left me overwhelmed and with the urge to randomly spout, a little too loudly- "The Father is SO GOOD!"
11. Email that start with love and encouragement and end the same way from certain amazing boyfriends..
12. Pregnant best friends who are barely showing at 4 1/2 months
13. Conversation with my beautiful grandma and a prayer answered so soon. She begins to seek the Father as he woos her to himself.
14. Opening the presents under the Christmas tree via skype with my family and not feeling homesick
15. A team of incredible women who embrace me Christmas morning because i am feeling stressed instead of joyful. They pray before opening the gifts and the day is absolutely BURSTING with Joy.
16. Thankful for a brother team that thoughtfully makes christmas gifts that leave me gushing tears.
17. A long conversation with my beloved's mom. Her good advise, honesty and encouragement the best gift on Christmas.
18. My beautiful, funny family who welcomes friends, boyfriends into the family for Christmas dinner. The evidence that He is working mightily in them as He is in me.
19. A true Sabbath with so much peace and rest after a long few days of madness and unrest.
20. Getting to sing the worship of Silent Night before colleagues at our staff Christmas party.
21. The intentionality of a Christmas overseas and the possibility of future Christmases..
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
the list
This year my list for Santa is simply this: Could I please get the "to do list" all done? Please? My apartment is covered with stacks of paper and grading and I sit down to do it then get on something else or have to go somewhere else and eat with someone or have a meeting or go to class and it doesn't get done! So many half finished projects that my head is spinning and I am starting to stress out a bit.
There is a blessing this week in that my work load has been reduced with no more english corners for the semester, no one on ones and class consists of finals for the next two weeks.
My plan was to sit and grade and cross things off the list all day long. In actuallity- we ended up cleaning a friend's apartment until 11 (after waking up a bit late and a much needed skype date with my Best friend and my siblings). Then lunch with Tannah and then practice with Jordan because there was a staff party this afternoon that we were to perform at.
Apparently it is appropriate to invite people to parties and expect them (pressure them) to perform at said party. The sign in our stairwell said the party would be Tuesday the 22nd (I realize that is tomorrow) at 3:30. At 3, I had straightened my hair, PUT ON MAKEUP (for the 4th time this year), and was getting ready to go downstairs. I recieved a text from my team leader that said the meeting was apparently going to be tomorrow (wednesday the 22nd...) We were all a bit perturbed but again realized that communication and expectations are VERY different in China.
So now I have a bit of time to work on Christmas presents, knock out some grading and.. apparently get distracted with a blog :).
I hope you enjoyed this rant, er, blog.
Love, me
There is a blessing this week in that my work load has been reduced with no more english corners for the semester, no one on ones and class consists of finals for the next two weeks.
My plan was to sit and grade and cross things off the list all day long. In actuallity- we ended up cleaning a friend's apartment until 11 (after waking up a bit late and a much needed skype date with my Best friend and my siblings). Then lunch with Tannah and then practice with Jordan because there was a staff party this afternoon that we were to perform at.
Apparently it is appropriate to invite people to parties and expect them (pressure them) to perform at said party. The sign in our stairwell said the party would be Tuesday the 22nd (I realize that is tomorrow) at 3:30. At 3, I had straightened my hair, PUT ON MAKEUP (for the 4th time this year), and was getting ready to go downstairs. I recieved a text from my team leader that said the meeting was apparently going to be tomorrow (wednesday the 22nd...) We were all a bit perturbed but again realized that communication and expectations are VERY different in China.
So now I have a bit of time to work on Christmas presents, knock out some grading and.. apparently get distracted with a blog :).
I hope you enjoyed this rant, er, blog.
Love, me
Monday, December 20, 2010
Babysitting and the thoughts that ensue
Tonight T and I went to babysit for the most precious children. They belong to a couple who works for our organization and help with the language school here in Changchun. Both husband and wife have been in China since 1999, and met here (now that is commitment!). As they welcomed us into their home, I noticed some beautiful things.
First, it was a home. A homey home. There was a little christmas tree with a few gifts wrapped underneath, a piano and two couches in the living room along with a big bookshelf and family pictures. The floor lamps made everything so warm. The kitchen was small but perfectly adequate and well organized. She had cookbooks and tea and cookies in little containers and pictures on the walls to make everything feel more cozy. There were american spices abounding and I could tell she liked to bake. When we came in, the little boy of 2 said hi and welcomed us in. He was well-behaved and showed us his bedroom, his toys, and explained everything as he played.
I have never met a more particular child. He lined up all his trucks and didn't move them because they were 'parked for the night.' We pretended to wash our hands with soap and played hide and seek and then he 'read' us a book he had memorized. He told great stories and his eyes would get really big with the excitement or the passion he felt telling them. It didn't matter that we could only make out 40-50% of what he said due to his two year old speech, their was joy in watching him tell it. When we sat down to eat, he grabbed our hands to lift up the meal. He thanked the father for his parents, his baby sister and many other things. It was PRECIOUS.
His baby sister was the best baby I have every babysat in my whole entire life. She is beautiful with BIG blue eyes and long lashes and she never cries. Even when we put her down for her nap, she didn't cry but rolled over and fell asleep. When T got her up after an hour, she work without crying. I didn't know children like that existed. She sat quiet and content while her big brother ran around and he would run up and gently kiss her forehead and run away again. It was beautiful.
I have to admit that it gave me a lot of hope for having kids in a foreign country. I mentioned this to the dad when they returned from their date and he said it was actually easier in some ways, harder in others. He said both he and his wife feel having kids in China is a new level of commitment to the country.
I thought about that statement a lot. In many ways, having kids in China is the same. You have to care for them and they need the same basic things. In other ways it is different because you must teach them to adapt to the Chinese culture and prepare them for American culture. He said that kids don't have a choice but he and his wife chose China and they think about that.
In some ways, I don't think living overseas is completely my choice. It is but it is also at the guidance of the father.
If he can move me here, can't he also ordain a whole family to live in another country? But what about culture shock and moving around and the stress of helping your kids make friends in other countries... Only he can help one cross these hurdles.
Another thing I noticed about the couple was how unified and at peace they were. The husband spoke for both of them. Such a simple and yet profound thing. There apartment and their children seemed to be quite secure in their love and at rest in their lives regardless of the fact that they lived in China.
On their fridge there was a quote that seemed to sum it up well: " Successful parenting isn't measured by what you can force to change in your kids but by what you allow the father to change in you."
First, it was a home. A homey home. There was a little christmas tree with a few gifts wrapped underneath, a piano and two couches in the living room along with a big bookshelf and family pictures. The floor lamps made everything so warm. The kitchen was small but perfectly adequate and well organized. She had cookbooks and tea and cookies in little containers and pictures on the walls to make everything feel more cozy. There were american spices abounding and I could tell she liked to bake. When we came in, the little boy of 2 said hi and welcomed us in. He was well-behaved and showed us his bedroom, his toys, and explained everything as he played.
I have never met a more particular child. He lined up all his trucks and didn't move them because they were 'parked for the night.' We pretended to wash our hands with soap and played hide and seek and then he 'read' us a book he had memorized. He told great stories and his eyes would get really big with the excitement or the passion he felt telling them. It didn't matter that we could only make out 40-50% of what he said due to his two year old speech, their was joy in watching him tell it. When we sat down to eat, he grabbed our hands to lift up the meal. He thanked the father for his parents, his baby sister and many other things. It was PRECIOUS.
His baby sister was the best baby I have every babysat in my whole entire life. She is beautiful with BIG blue eyes and long lashes and she never cries. Even when we put her down for her nap, she didn't cry but rolled over and fell asleep. When T got her up after an hour, she work without crying. I didn't know children like that existed. She sat quiet and content while her big brother ran around and he would run up and gently kiss her forehead and run away again. It was beautiful.
I have to admit that it gave me a lot of hope for having kids in a foreign country. I mentioned this to the dad when they returned from their date and he said it was actually easier in some ways, harder in others. He said both he and his wife feel having kids in China is a new level of commitment to the country.
I thought about that statement a lot. In many ways, having kids in China is the same. You have to care for them and they need the same basic things. In other ways it is different because you must teach them to adapt to the Chinese culture and prepare them for American culture. He said that kids don't have a choice but he and his wife chose China and they think about that.
In some ways, I don't think living overseas is completely my choice. It is but it is also at the guidance of the father.
If he can move me here, can't he also ordain a whole family to live in another country? But what about culture shock and moving around and the stress of helping your kids make friends in other countries... Only he can help one cross these hurdles.
Another thing I noticed about the couple was how unified and at peace they were. The husband spoke for both of them. Such a simple and yet profound thing. There apartment and their children seemed to be quite secure in their love and at rest in their lives regardless of the fact that they lived in China.
On their fridge there was a quote that seemed to sum it up well: " Successful parenting isn't measured by what you can force to change in your kids but by what you allow the father to change in you."
in the simple things
It was 7:37 when I finally heaved myself out of bed, fighting against the negative attitude trying to take over my mind. It was Sunday and I wanted to sleep in. I didn't know of anyone who was going to fellowship, but somehow I felt I should go. So I half-heartedly dressed and got ready. Tannah sent me a message and asked if I was going. She too had felt the pull to go and wanted to know she would be alone.
We met Abram and Jordan downstairs and walked to the gate. To our surprise, three of our friends joined us there.
On the way to the fellowship, one of my friends- who has been asking a lot of good questions, told me she had been to the fellowship the day before because she hadn't been able to go the Sunday before. She had gone on her own. I was surprised and so happy because the father had been laying her on my heart and I had been lifting her up just the day before.
We went to the service and, as is my custom, I read the message text and journaled throughout the time. The Father faithfully met me and it was a refreshing 2 hours. Around 10:30, we ended and my friend eagerly asked if we would stay for the young adults group. I had balked at the idea before, wanting to 'be productive' and get things done on my afternoons. But I promised I would stay so Tannah, another friend and I stayed. They sang passionately to the Son, had another message and then gathered around a simple and beautiful meal provided by the older women in the fellowship. We had cabbage, pork and noodles over rice and sour veggies along with that. One of the women came in and told me " It is simple, but it is a gift from the Father."
As we ate, my friend and I began to talk about faith. She shared some issues she still has questions about and I got to clarify some of her questions by sharing again the most important story of all time. There is a desire there to combine the father above with the ideas of prosperity and good luck and you get a faith that doesn't change you but provides you with a bit of self-confidence. She was thinking of the faith in these terms. Oh that he would rip this idea away and replace it with his passionate love. Oh that He would take her and ravish her and that she would be completely flooded and ruined by his love and the depth and width and all that he has done in history and today.
What a privilege it was to talk to her about this truth. When we finished, I found Tannah had also talked truth with our other friend. It seems they are hungry and desiring to be fed and He strategically places us (even when we have bad attitudes) to use us despite ourselves. It is humbling.
We met Abram and Jordan downstairs and walked to the gate. To our surprise, three of our friends joined us there.
On the way to the fellowship, one of my friends- who has been asking a lot of good questions, told me she had been to the fellowship the day before because she hadn't been able to go the Sunday before. She had gone on her own. I was surprised and so happy because the father had been laying her on my heart and I had been lifting her up just the day before.
We went to the service and, as is my custom, I read the message text and journaled throughout the time. The Father faithfully met me and it was a refreshing 2 hours. Around 10:30, we ended and my friend eagerly asked if we would stay for the young adults group. I had balked at the idea before, wanting to 'be productive' and get things done on my afternoons. But I promised I would stay so Tannah, another friend and I stayed. They sang passionately to the Son, had another message and then gathered around a simple and beautiful meal provided by the older women in the fellowship. We had cabbage, pork and noodles over rice and sour veggies along with that. One of the women came in and told me " It is simple, but it is a gift from the Father."
As we ate, my friend and I began to talk about faith. She shared some issues she still has questions about and I got to clarify some of her questions by sharing again the most important story of all time. There is a desire there to combine the father above with the ideas of prosperity and good luck and you get a faith that doesn't change you but provides you with a bit of self-confidence. She was thinking of the faith in these terms. Oh that he would rip this idea away and replace it with his passionate love. Oh that He would take her and ravish her and that she would be completely flooded and ruined by his love and the depth and width and all that he has done in history and today.
What a privilege it was to talk to her about this truth. When we finished, I found Tannah had also talked truth with our other friend. It seems they are hungry and desiring to be fed and He strategically places us (even when we have bad attitudes) to use us despite ourselves. It is humbling.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Burning a bit of light
Nervously I print simple invitations- one for each class- with the main ideas of the party, My students are excited about the prospect of celebrating an 'American' Christmas.
Thursday comes with cleaning, cooking ginger snaps and a trip to the market for snacky food goodness. As an RA, I actracted people to events with free food. The bait hasn't changed and I am still fishing for college students :).
Thursday night Tannah and I decorate the living room with leftover decorations from teachers past. It looks tacky and perfect. The tinsel tree has a tendency to lean to the left, and the one string of net lights is half burnt out. But the combination is perfect and I know they will love it somehow.
Friday brings more cooking: Banana chocolate bread, and my teammates and I lifting the party up in my living room before they arrive. While I invited 2 whole classes, only 4 girls come. I am relieved, a little ashamed of my worry over the numbers. It is all in His hands.
They settle in and it is girls who have come to play games so they are right at home. They eat and talk, we play a game from my family Christmas party, and Tannah and Ashley come to hang out.
These sweet girls shared about Spring festival (new year's celebration) and we shared about Christmas.
With a smile, I announced that we wanted to share a family tradition with them. In the past, my family has made it our habit to attend a Christmas eve Candlelight service. I pulled out some candles, the story from Lk 2, and a song sheet for each girl. They were mystified and excited. One has been asking a lot of good questions and so she felt a bit like an insider.
We read the story, and at the end, turned off the light and lit our candles for Silent Night. Can I say it was amazing? It was. To see a picture so holy and their voices singing of that night when Love came down, there is nothing better. I want nothing more than to celebrate like this forever, sharing his truth and reveling in his grace and love.
Thursday comes with cleaning, cooking ginger snaps and a trip to the market for snacky food goodness. As an RA, I actracted people to events with free food. The bait hasn't changed and I am still fishing for college students :).
Thursday night Tannah and I decorate the living room with leftover decorations from teachers past. It looks tacky and perfect. The tinsel tree has a tendency to lean to the left, and the one string of net lights is half burnt out. But the combination is perfect and I know they will love it somehow.
Friday brings more cooking: Banana chocolate bread, and my teammates and I lifting the party up in my living room before they arrive. While I invited 2 whole classes, only 4 girls come. I am relieved, a little ashamed of my worry over the numbers. It is all in His hands.
They settle in and it is girls who have come to play games so they are right at home. They eat and talk, we play a game from my family Christmas party, and Tannah and Ashley come to hang out.
These sweet girls shared about Spring festival (new year's celebration) and we shared about Christmas.
With a smile, I announced that we wanted to share a family tradition with them. In the past, my family has made it our habit to attend a Christmas eve Candlelight service. I pulled out some candles, the story from Lk 2, and a song sheet for each girl. They were mystified and excited. One has been asking a lot of good questions and so she felt a bit like an insider.
We read the story, and at the end, turned off the light and lit our candles for Silent Night. Can I say it was amazing? It was. To see a picture so holy and their voices singing of that night when Love came down, there is nothing better. I want nothing more than to celebrate like this forever, sharing his truth and reveling in his grace and love.
Monday, December 6, 2010
she hears what she needs to hear
Had dinner with a dear student today. She and i have been building a deeper friendship and she continues to ask good questions about hope and the joy and truth. She is reading the word and going to fellowship with me and Papa is drawing her patiently and steadily to himself. Oh what a joy, what a crazy JOY it is to see him do it.
Today was the first day for me to teach my full Christmas lesson. My students were assigned to different roles of the story- sheep, Joseph, Mary, the magi, etc. They told the story to each other from the vantage point of these roles, thus getting different pieces from each person. I told them about our new tradition- having a birthday cake and singing Happy Birthday to the son. I asked them why he was a gift and why we give gifts. We talked about peace on earth and secular versus sacred.
My student and I chatted about Christmas and as we talked about the traditions, I asked if she would celebrate. She had a plan to mix the Chinese and 'Western' traditions together. I asked if her family ever said I love you to each other. This is not something Chinese people often say. She told me that they seldom or never say it but prefer to show it. Papa wanted to say it to her so I did. He loves you. She laughed a nervous laugh and said she hoped he did. He does.
We talked about the need for belief and she relayed a story she had heard the previous week- from a Chinese brother. A rich man invited the son into his home to eat with him and to bring him good luck. The man gave the son a whole floor of his house to live in while the man lived in the other 9. One day, the devil came and knocked on the door. He brought disaster on the man.
The man was confused and went to the son. Why did the enemy bring such disaster on me while you are here? The son made no reply. The man gave the son 2 floors of the house to live in. Again the enemy came and brought disaster on the man.
Again the man came to the son and said, "Why did the devil bring disaster on me while you are here? You are supposed to protect and bless me." The man gave the son 9 of the 10 floors in his home saying, "You can live in the 9 floors of my house and I will live in only one." Of course, the enemy came again and disaster followed.
Finally, at the end of his rope and about to give up belief the man came to the son and the son said, "I do not want nine floors of your home but the keys to the rooms of your house." The man handed him the keys.
One day, the enemy came and knocked on the door. The door was locked and, while the man wanted to answer, he had no key. The enemy found another door and knocked and the man came and let him in, but when the enemy say the son, he bowed and left.
Amazing how she who has been searching for this truth as a source of peace and luck hears a story about surrender. Amazing how I needed to hear it too.
Today was the first day for me to teach my full Christmas lesson. My students were assigned to different roles of the story- sheep, Joseph, Mary, the magi, etc. They told the story to each other from the vantage point of these roles, thus getting different pieces from each person. I told them about our new tradition- having a birthday cake and singing Happy Birthday to the son. I asked them why he was a gift and why we give gifts. We talked about peace on earth and secular versus sacred.
My student and I chatted about Christmas and as we talked about the traditions, I asked if she would celebrate. She had a plan to mix the Chinese and 'Western' traditions together. I asked if her family ever said I love you to each other. This is not something Chinese people often say. She told me that they seldom or never say it but prefer to show it. Papa wanted to say it to her so I did. He loves you. She laughed a nervous laugh and said she hoped he did. He does.
We talked about the need for belief and she relayed a story she had heard the previous week- from a Chinese brother. A rich man invited the son into his home to eat with him and to bring him good luck. The man gave the son a whole floor of his house to live in while the man lived in the other 9. One day, the devil came and knocked on the door. He brought disaster on the man.
The man was confused and went to the son. Why did the enemy bring such disaster on me while you are here? The son made no reply. The man gave the son 2 floors of the house to live in. Again the enemy came and brought disaster on the man.
Again the man came to the son and said, "Why did the devil bring disaster on me while you are here? You are supposed to protect and bless me." The man gave the son 9 of the 10 floors in his home saying, "You can live in the 9 floors of my house and I will live in only one." Of course, the enemy came again and disaster followed.
Finally, at the end of his rope and about to give up belief the man came to the son and the son said, "I do not want nine floors of your home but the keys to the rooms of your house." The man handed him the keys.
One day, the enemy came and knocked on the door. The door was locked and, while the man wanted to answer, he had no key. The enemy found another door and knocked and the man came and let him in, but when the enemy say the son, he bowed and left.
Amazing how she who has been searching for this truth as a source of peace and luck hears a story about surrender. Amazing how I needed to hear it too.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
And Absence stands for love
As a recent inhabitant of China and a new student of Chinese culture, there are many things that continue to absolutely boggle my mind. One of those things is the concept of distance in relationships.
This past Friday my team, the boys team here at HQ, and team of teachers from Harbin went into Changchun to watch another team teach and learn about another teaching program my organization has. The day began at at 6 am, we left at 7 in -4 degree F weather with hair freezing and snot freezing and the day ended around 9:30 with temperatures slightly higher as we hailed a cab back out to our beloved suburbs.
The team we watched works at a great big State university with 9 campuses. We watched several classes, interacted with students and asked questions about their program. I learned a lot from the teachers we watched. At 1:30, we joined a 3 hour adult class for teachers and doctors. I met many interesting people, including Bob who told me all about his surgeries on appendixes and how he came to be a doctor; Julie- a teacher of mechatronics who doesn't really like math; and Dave- a teacher of current events who had just returned from an all expense paid (by the US) trip to florida to attend some conferences, discuss the role of the US in the Asian economy and tour parts of the country. He will be returning in January for a year's study at the U of Virginia.
As Dave and I were chatting, I asked if he had a family. He smiled and said he did and even had a son (something to be proud of in China). I asked whether they would accompany him to Virginia. Dave shook his head and explained that his wife's job was very important and that she would be missed there if she left and no one would be able to replace her. In addition, he said his son would likely be a distraction if he needed to do research. Dave is an intellectual guy, no doubt, so this idea makes sense. His family will visit half way through his stay and he said this should be enough. I was baffled. Live without your wife and kids for 6 months!?
Yet I suppose I am the pot calling the kettle black as I am in China away from boyfriend, family, friends for 11 months.
My surprise stems from the frequency at which I hear stories like this one. Many of my students have parents who work in seperate parts of the country. Perhaps mom lives in central China- the family hometown, and Dad works in Inner Mongolia, way way up north. They may see each other two times a year. My students are accustomed to this mindset and believe independence is important for their future marriages. I have had many express their desire to have their own job and for their husband or wife to have his/hers. Many have specifically stated that they recognize the possibility of living far apart if work necessitates.
When I asked my students to define love, missing someone when they were gone was one of the great indicators to knowing you loved them.
More seasoned teachers in China have told me that this mindset stems from the history of China (doesn't everything stem from our history). In the days when jobs were assigned, a couple could get married and then be assigned jobs in separate areas of the country. They lived in dorms even though they were married and they saw eachother on special occasions. Is it any wonder that the special festivals in China all center around families getting together?
Today, when students don't score a high enough grade on the college entrance exam, they can be assigned a major. Often they study something they are not completely passionate about. I am amazed at how hard they work despite their lack of passion. My friend Julie, the Mechatronics teacher, wanted to study something else but her test score placed her in Mechatronics and now she teaches it rather than working in a factory. She says she gets to wear pretty clothes this way and wouldn't if she worked in a factory.
In China, it is who, not what, you know. Thus there is a lot of hope for my students to get jobs in other areas besides their major.
I am still a student of Chinese culture and it confuses me more than it makes sense to me. These are just ponderings and please know they are the thoughts and ideas of a very new student. Keep an open mind. I have found that this along with expecting people to act Chinese instead of American has helped me to avoid some culture shock.
This past Friday my team, the boys team here at HQ, and team of teachers from Harbin went into Changchun to watch another team teach and learn about another teaching program my organization has. The day began at at 6 am, we left at 7 in -4 degree F weather with hair freezing and snot freezing and the day ended around 9:30 with temperatures slightly higher as we hailed a cab back out to our beloved suburbs.
The team we watched works at a great big State university with 9 campuses. We watched several classes, interacted with students and asked questions about their program. I learned a lot from the teachers we watched. At 1:30, we joined a 3 hour adult class for teachers and doctors. I met many interesting people, including Bob who told me all about his surgeries on appendixes and how he came to be a doctor; Julie- a teacher of mechatronics who doesn't really like math; and Dave- a teacher of current events who had just returned from an all expense paid (by the US) trip to florida to attend some conferences, discuss the role of the US in the Asian economy and tour parts of the country. He will be returning in January for a year's study at the U of Virginia.
As Dave and I were chatting, I asked if he had a family. He smiled and said he did and even had a son (something to be proud of in China). I asked whether they would accompany him to Virginia. Dave shook his head and explained that his wife's job was very important and that she would be missed there if she left and no one would be able to replace her. In addition, he said his son would likely be a distraction if he needed to do research. Dave is an intellectual guy, no doubt, so this idea makes sense. His family will visit half way through his stay and he said this should be enough. I was baffled. Live without your wife and kids for 6 months!?
Yet I suppose I am the pot calling the kettle black as I am in China away from boyfriend, family, friends for 11 months.
My surprise stems from the frequency at which I hear stories like this one. Many of my students have parents who work in seperate parts of the country. Perhaps mom lives in central China- the family hometown, and Dad works in Inner Mongolia, way way up north. They may see each other two times a year. My students are accustomed to this mindset and believe independence is important for their future marriages. I have had many express their desire to have their own job and for their husband or wife to have his/hers. Many have specifically stated that they recognize the possibility of living far apart if work necessitates.
When I asked my students to define love, missing someone when they were gone was one of the great indicators to knowing you loved them.
More seasoned teachers in China have told me that this mindset stems from the history of China (doesn't everything stem from our history). In the days when jobs were assigned, a couple could get married and then be assigned jobs in separate areas of the country. They lived in dorms even though they were married and they saw eachother on special occasions. Is it any wonder that the special festivals in China all center around families getting together?
Today, when students don't score a high enough grade on the college entrance exam, they can be assigned a major. Often they study something they are not completely passionate about. I am amazed at how hard they work despite their lack of passion. My friend Julie, the Mechatronics teacher, wanted to study something else but her test score placed her in Mechatronics and now she teaches it rather than working in a factory. She says she gets to wear pretty clothes this way and wouldn't if she worked in a factory.
In China, it is who, not what, you know. Thus there is a lot of hope for my students to get jobs in other areas besides their major.
I am still a student of Chinese culture and it confuses me more than it makes sense to me. These are just ponderings and please know they are the thoughts and ideas of a very new student. Keep an open mind. I have found that this along with expecting people to act Chinese instead of American has helped me to avoid some culture shock.
Friday, November 26, 2010
A little different this year
Thanksgiving looked a little different this year...
It looked like trips to the meat market down the street in the cold, taking a bong bong (3 wheeled transportation) with team mates) to pick up produce and very fresh meat.
At the meat market, the silk warms wiggle around in trays, the blood pools on the ground from the freshly slaughtered animals being cut to order, and fish swim in tanks ready to be bought.
It is a whole new experience. A great place to practice Chinese, observe culture and generally be gawked at by Chinese men.
This Thanksgiving looked like divvying up recipes between the teams, making sure everyone brought something different to the FEAST at the language school in the city on Friday. It looked like helping boys know how many potatoes to buy for mash potatoes and trying to buy ham hocks by gesturing to my heal and saying to word pork in Chinese... Didn't work but it was worth a try.
Thanksgiving this year sounded like my dad telling me how much he ate and the negative impact it was having on his body. It was all of my siblings crowded around Skype for a good long conversation. It was a video they made at the table before they ate telling me how much they missed me and talking with my grandma's that evening to tell them I loved them.
It looked like spending a whole day in the Kitchen on Friday, classes canceled for me. I made green beans and potatoes, amazing pumpkin pie with REAL whip cream (from the foreign store), and mushroom and veggie stuffed chicken with homemade Cream of chicken soup. It looked like being adventurous and failing and trying again. It looked like listening to Heidi Baker and eating Ramen in Tannah's Kitchen for Lunch.
3 o'clock rolled around and I felt like I was back home trying to get to Grandmas on tim. Panic and stress- the taxi is waiting outside.. hurry hurry to get the food packed and downstairs. I hold the pie in my hands while the taxi carreens through the streets of Changchun, speeding quickly, weaving through traffic. I pray for the dishes in the trunk.
We arrive and there is a real turkey someone ordered and Thanksgiving seems more real for some reason because there are 15-20 kids of all ages running and screaming all around and families mingling and my spiritual family all around. Though I haven't met them yet, I feel a kindred spirit and a sense of peace.
We eat too too too much and go back for seconds. We talk of food babies, eat pumpkin cheese cake and i find new friends in two precious little girls about 3 and 4. I chase them around with a play blow fish while they scream and laugh. I don't know who is more amused-me or them. Eventually one of the little girls comes to me and annouces she is tired and the game is over. Later we pretend to take a taxi ride together. She annouces "Buckle your seatbelts, it;s gonna be a roller coster ride!" I think about a little girl who has grown up in China and who more naturally imagines taxi rides than car rides and crazy Chinese drivers who really do give you a roller coaster ride. She announces that the ride is over and when I ask how much I owe her, she tells me, "22." My little 3 year old friend says, "Oh, I have 22." and pulls the imaginary money from her purse.
I want babies ever MORE. My teammates hold Jacinda, a 3 month old precious baby with gorgeous blue eyes and we coo and work our best to make her laugh and smile.
We come back and clean and watch.. Babies the documentary (it wasn't my choice by I didn't disagree). After the movie, we look out to find a white glistening, snow covered world. It had snowed at least 2-3 inches during the movie.
It looked like trips to the meat market down the street in the cold, taking a bong bong (3 wheeled transportation) with team mates) to pick up produce and very fresh meat.
At the meat market, the silk warms wiggle around in trays, the blood pools on the ground from the freshly slaughtered animals being cut to order, and fish swim in tanks ready to be bought.
It is a whole new experience. A great place to practice Chinese, observe culture and generally be gawked at by Chinese men.
This Thanksgiving looked like divvying up recipes between the teams, making sure everyone brought something different to the FEAST at the language school in the city on Friday. It looked like helping boys know how many potatoes to buy for mash potatoes and trying to buy ham hocks by gesturing to my heal and saying to word pork in Chinese... Didn't work but it was worth a try.
Thanksgiving this year sounded like my dad telling me how much he ate and the negative impact it was having on his body. It was all of my siblings crowded around Skype for a good long conversation. It was a video they made at the table before they ate telling me how much they missed me and talking with my grandma's that evening to tell them I loved them.
It looked like spending a whole day in the Kitchen on Friday, classes canceled for me. I made green beans and potatoes, amazing pumpkin pie with REAL whip cream (from the foreign store), and mushroom and veggie stuffed chicken with homemade Cream of chicken soup. It looked like being adventurous and failing and trying again. It looked like listening to Heidi Baker and eating Ramen in Tannah's Kitchen for Lunch.
3 o'clock rolled around and I felt like I was back home trying to get to Grandmas on tim. Panic and stress- the taxi is waiting outside.. hurry hurry to get the food packed and downstairs. I hold the pie in my hands while the taxi carreens through the streets of Changchun, speeding quickly, weaving through traffic. I pray for the dishes in the trunk.
We arrive and there is a real turkey someone ordered and Thanksgiving seems more real for some reason because there are 15-20 kids of all ages running and screaming all around and families mingling and my spiritual family all around. Though I haven't met them yet, I feel a kindred spirit and a sense of peace.
We eat too too too much and go back for seconds. We talk of food babies, eat pumpkin cheese cake and i find new friends in two precious little girls about 3 and 4. I chase them around with a play blow fish while they scream and laugh. I don't know who is more amused-me or them. Eventually one of the little girls comes to me and annouces she is tired and the game is over. Later we pretend to take a taxi ride together. She annouces "Buckle your seatbelts, it;s gonna be a roller coster ride!" I think about a little girl who has grown up in China and who more naturally imagines taxi rides than car rides and crazy Chinese drivers who really do give you a roller coaster ride. She announces that the ride is over and when I ask how much I owe her, she tells me, "22." My little 3 year old friend says, "Oh, I have 22." and pulls the imaginary money from her purse.
I want babies ever MORE. My teammates hold Jacinda, a 3 month old precious baby with gorgeous blue eyes and we coo and work our best to make her laugh and smile.
We come back and clean and watch.. Babies the documentary (it wasn't my choice by I didn't disagree). After the movie, we look out to find a white glistening, snow covered world. It had snowed at least 2-3 inches during the movie.
Friday, November 19, 2010
unexpected circumstances
Tonight, my student Loula and I went to a cafe to chat and hang out. Cornerstone is like-minded, run by Chinese, and had a phenomenal atmosphere.
She poured out her heart for 2 hours while we sipped Apple and lemon tea and nibbled ginger cookies. Loula had been dealing with the break down of a friendship and had skirted the problem and passively allowed 'time to heal all wounds' in what seems to be the Chinese way. Eventually, problems mounted until they imploded upon both girls.
Can I just say it is difficult to give relationship advice to people of a different culture! I know enough to know i don't know much about this culture :). However, I do believe dealing with issues in a loving manner is basic and necessary no matter where you are. Unfortunately, the way we deal looks different in different places...
So I listened and asked some questions and gave advice sparingly. It was a good time.
In the middle of our conversation, another student, Bob, from a nearby University appeared and said hello. I had met Bob on a previous trip to the cafe and recognized him. We chatted and he asked to join our conversation. Bob is a member of the Musl. Minority in Ch.
We chatted for a bit before Bob went to join another conversation. About 30 min. later, Bob returned and asked if we would like to join him for dinner at a restaurant that served food from his region. We agreed and headed out into the cold to Musl. restaurant.
We arrived in 3 min. and Bob made himself at home. We ordered huge, steaming plates of noodles that smelled slightly of horse though the meat was beef. The food was delicious and we talked about bob's culture and background as we ate. Loula was full of questions.
The minority Bob is a part of are almost Middle Eastern. The speak a language that comes from Arabic and most of the people are Musl. To be part of the minority is to be Musl as he explained. Bob has been studying the Word for 3 years because he enjoys the messages in it and the good example set by the Son.
In the middle of our conversation, Bob looked at me with his intent brown eyes as asked, "What is the most important thing about chrstanity?"
Papa is so incredible isn't he. I looked at Loula, who had been reading the word for luck and peace the weeks before, and I looked at Bob. I told him the main thing is believing in the true Identity of the Son and what he has done for us. Then loving him and others as he told us to do.
Bob knodded his head as he slirped up some noodles and i asked him what the main point of being a Musl. was. He talked about the 1st pillar and the 5 daily times of kneeling.
Our conversation continued and I marveled at the incredible way Papa is working here. Surely his plans are far superior to mine.
She poured out her heart for 2 hours while we sipped Apple and lemon tea and nibbled ginger cookies. Loula had been dealing with the break down of a friendship and had skirted the problem and passively allowed 'time to heal all wounds' in what seems to be the Chinese way. Eventually, problems mounted until they imploded upon both girls.
Can I just say it is difficult to give relationship advice to people of a different culture! I know enough to know i don't know much about this culture :). However, I do believe dealing with issues in a loving manner is basic and necessary no matter where you are. Unfortunately, the way we deal looks different in different places...
So I listened and asked some questions and gave advice sparingly. It was a good time.
In the middle of our conversation, another student, Bob, from a nearby University appeared and said hello. I had met Bob on a previous trip to the cafe and recognized him. We chatted and he asked to join our conversation. Bob is a member of the Musl. Minority in Ch.
We chatted for a bit before Bob went to join another conversation. About 30 min. later, Bob returned and asked if we would like to join him for dinner at a restaurant that served food from his region. We agreed and headed out into the cold to Musl. restaurant.
We arrived in 3 min. and Bob made himself at home. We ordered huge, steaming plates of noodles that smelled slightly of horse though the meat was beef. The food was delicious and we talked about bob's culture and background as we ate. Loula was full of questions.
The minority Bob is a part of are almost Middle Eastern. The speak a language that comes from Arabic and most of the people are Musl. To be part of the minority is to be Musl as he explained. Bob has been studying the Word for 3 years because he enjoys the messages in it and the good example set by the Son.
In the middle of our conversation, Bob looked at me with his intent brown eyes as asked, "What is the most important thing about chrstanity?"
Papa is so incredible isn't he. I looked at Loula, who had been reading the word for luck and peace the weeks before, and I looked at Bob. I told him the main thing is believing in the true Identity of the Son and what he has done for us. Then loving him and others as he told us to do.
Bob knodded his head as he slirped up some noodles and i asked him what the main point of being a Musl. was. He talked about the 1st pillar and the 5 daily times of kneeling.
Our conversation continued and I marveled at the incredible way Papa is working here. Surely his plans are far superior to mine.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Winter wonderland
The snows fell heavy overnight and I woke up to find the world white, pure and gorgeous. The snow was falling thick and peaceful as I walked to Kung Fu at 8. We learned round house punches (?)and blocks and I was thankful once more for this class that forces me to exercise at least once a week.
The Son and I met after Kung Fu and it was a delightful date on a relaxed Saturday. The Shepherd knows his sheep. John 11. Do I know my Shepherd's voice? Do seek his face as I would my beloved?
They say Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, I could punch them sometimes.
Absence sucks.
Absence between two people very much in love makes them thankful for the times they are together because keeping a relationship going with physical absence is a LOT OF WORK! Hank, my boyfriend, and I work hard at our relationship now that I am in China. We worked hard at it while I was in America too, but it is harder still when Absence is a factor.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder because you can't take things for granted. You remember details about the one you love while you are missing them- the way their eyes look when they laugh and the way their hands feel in yours...
But true absence, the kind I am guilty of between my Perfect Lover and myself, kills the Holy Romance. It doesn't kindle it. And I was reminded of that this morning.
He romances me in the snow and the wind. In the gentle feel of a Chinese baby falling asleep in my arms at Fellowship. He woos my heart over dinner with the silly and beautiful girls I get to hang out with and teach. He takes my breath away with apple cider and good news shared at a coffee shop with new friends...
The Son and I met after Kung Fu and it was a delightful date on a relaxed Saturday. The Shepherd knows his sheep. John 11. Do I know my Shepherd's voice? Do seek his face as I would my beloved?
They say Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, I could punch them sometimes.
Absence sucks.
Absence between two people very much in love makes them thankful for the times they are together because keeping a relationship going with physical absence is a LOT OF WORK! Hank, my boyfriend, and I work hard at our relationship now that I am in China. We worked hard at it while I was in America too, but it is harder still when Absence is a factor.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder because you can't take things for granted. You remember details about the one you love while you are missing them- the way their eyes look when they laugh and the way their hands feel in yours...
But true absence, the kind I am guilty of between my Perfect Lover and myself, kills the Holy Romance. It doesn't kindle it. And I was reminded of that this morning.
He romances me in the snow and the wind. In the gentle feel of a Chinese baby falling asleep in my arms at Fellowship. He woos my heart over dinner with the silly and beautiful girls I get to hang out with and teach. He takes my breath away with apple cider and good news shared at a coffee shop with new friends...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sandiago and the Correo de Torro
On Sunday, I skipped fellowship (muahaha). I woke up early and started the day off right with some coffee, the word and nowhere to be all day.
Its amazing what one can find joy in when you have the freedom to take time and do it! Its amazing how FUN cleaning can be when you make a game out of it. I bleached my bathtub and sink and cleaned my kitchen and felt like I have climbed a mountain. (When you hate cleaning as much as I do, you must rejoice in the small triumphs).
Around 12, I asked a student to lunch and then headed to the dining hall to eat when I didn’t hear from her. As I was walking the line of food vendors in the cafeteria, trying to make up my mind between dishes and dumplings, a student introduced himself to me.
“Hello,” he said. “I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Sandiago and I met you in the beginning of the year. Monica introduced us.” I nodded slowly, trying to clear the fog that had formed over the two months since we met and then nodded faster as I finally remembered having met him. “You speak some Spanish.” He said. ‘Oh boy,how much is some?’ I thought to myself as I explained that my Spanish was a little rusty.
Sandiago invited me to eat with him and I agreed. This is one of my favorite parts of the culture so far- the emphasis on relationships and hospitality. The idea of ‘why do it alone if you can do it together?’
I soon learned that Sandiago had a girlfriend studying in Spain and I immediately felt a connection with him. We were both suffering from Long Distance Relationships…
We talked about Chinese culture and Sandiago put into words so many ideas and truths that I had found it difficult to grasp. I told him he needed to teach foreigners someday. He humbly replied, “I read a lot of books.”
We talked about Spain and the Run of the Bulls. He told me all about protests, the money that goes into the event and the lives that are lost due to the greed. Whenever he couldn’t think of a word in English, he said it in Spanish and I generally understood him.
We talked of Western culture and the influence it has on China. Is it good, bad, neutral? What of tolerance? Well, if you want to determine the usefulness or validity of something- look at its products. What has tolerance given us thus far?
As we prepared to zou ba (let’s go), Sandiago reached into his bag and pulled out a banana and a tomato. He said, “See, it is well I have bought two of each. One for you and one for me.” What can I say or do in the face of such generosity? I smile and take it and thank him. He has blessed me more than he can know and taught me many things over a simple lunch.
Its amazing what one can find joy in when you have the freedom to take time and do it! Its amazing how FUN cleaning can be when you make a game out of it. I bleached my bathtub and sink and cleaned my kitchen and felt like I have climbed a mountain. (When you hate cleaning as much as I do, you must rejoice in the small triumphs).
Around 12, I asked a student to lunch and then headed to the dining hall to eat when I didn’t hear from her. As I was walking the line of food vendors in the cafeteria, trying to make up my mind between dishes and dumplings, a student introduced himself to me.
“Hello,” he said. “I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Sandiago and I met you in the beginning of the year. Monica introduced us.” I nodded slowly, trying to clear the fog that had formed over the two months since we met and then nodded faster as I finally remembered having met him. “You speak some Spanish.” He said. ‘Oh boy,how much is some?’ I thought to myself as I explained that my Spanish was a little rusty.
Sandiago invited me to eat with him and I agreed. This is one of my favorite parts of the culture so far- the emphasis on relationships and hospitality. The idea of ‘why do it alone if you can do it together?’
I soon learned that Sandiago had a girlfriend studying in Spain and I immediately felt a connection with him. We were both suffering from Long Distance Relationships…
We talked about Chinese culture and Sandiago put into words so many ideas and truths that I had found it difficult to grasp. I told him he needed to teach foreigners someday. He humbly replied, “I read a lot of books.”
We talked about Spain and the Run of the Bulls. He told me all about protests, the money that goes into the event and the lives that are lost due to the greed. Whenever he couldn’t think of a word in English, he said it in Spanish and I generally understood him.
We talked of Western culture and the influence it has on China. Is it good, bad, neutral? What of tolerance? Well, if you want to determine the usefulness or validity of something- look at its products. What has tolerance given us thus far?
As we prepared to zou ba (let’s go), Sandiago reached into his bag and pulled out a banana and a tomato. He said, “See, it is well I have bought two of each. One for you and one for me.” What can I say or do in the face of such generosity? I smile and take it and thank him. He has blessed me more than he can know and taught me many things over a simple lunch.
And I shop with a skip in my step and a song in my ear
It was a gorgeous day, sun shining and a rare 60 degrees outside. I couldn’t resist taking a walk down to the corner market to pick up some veggies and eggs for brownies this week. I also needed to walk to the big (20,000 student) university down the street to pick up some pictures I had developed there.
So, contrary to the advice given during training, I popped my earbuds in my ear and started one of the playlists Hank gave me. There is nothing quite like walking through the streets of China with Katie Herzig singing in your ears, while you wave ‘Ni Haio,’ at the over happy guards on the street in front of the super-ritz western apartments, wearing their long red trench coats. They wave “hello,” back and gawk at your western big nose and big ahem.. curves. (well, its true) In fact, it helps to have love songs playing in your ears when you get gawked at by almost every man you pass, not because you are beautiful, but because you are different.
I get to the store and meander through the small aisles with a giddy smile on my face- way to happy to pick out cucumber, carrots and cabbage for my pancit. I get to the front and pay only to realize I have forgotten to weigh the apples. Jack Johnson, thank you for making this moment one of delight. As the lady at the check out hands me my bag of apples, I smile and walk back to the man at the scale. I give him a ‘Oh well, I am a dumb westerner’ smile and he weighs my apples. 4 rmb- 70 cents for 3. Not bad.
I walk back to the front with a skip in my step, praising my father to the sound of ‘Banana Pancakes” and Jack Johnson’s Hawaiian voice.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Table of Oneness
A number of years ago, I read a book by Calvin Miller titled "A Hunger for the Holy." From the beautiful picture of the table that the Father prepares for us in Psalm 23:5, Miller describes the necessity of meeting with the Father daily.
Close your eyes. Well, read this paragraph and then close your eyes.
Imagine a small table set with two plates, two cups, and a loaf of bread. Three yellow candles sit atop the table and they cast their light upon a tablecloth that has been carefully laid. The shadows cast by the candlelight fall on a seat meant just for you. There are no place cards but you know the seat is yours. You draw near to the table and a man is there waiting for you. He is so familiar. His presence is warm, inviting you to sit and relax, let all the strain from the past week vanish. You settle into the chair and he smiles. He breaks the bread before you and hands it to you. You remember that here you can lay your heart bare and know and be known by the Bridegroom himself.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Love Bound
I read a quote today on Ann Voskamp's blog, a place I frequent and always find myself enriched by.
"Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind."
Oh how blind I have been in my love of late.
As though I were five again, awakened to find my eyes caked with pink eye puss so thick that I am blinded. As though I am there again, on the edge of the porcelain tub while my mom wets a wash cloth with warm water and tells me to set it atop my eyes.
Only now Papa sits, gently washing away the grit that has blinded me these past few weeks. It has built up slowly so I barely noticed the caking and the gradual loss of vision. But then I awoke with a start to find I could no longer see.
What had happened?
When had the world and the enemy with his lies crept in? Oh, but he was sneaky and the lies he told me sounded so much like the truth I wanted to believe.
"Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind."
Oh how blind I have been in my love of late.
As though I were five again, awakened to find my eyes caked with pink eye puss so thick that I am blinded. As though I am there again, on the edge of the porcelain tub while my mom wets a wash cloth with warm water and tells me to set it atop my eyes.
Only now Papa sits, gently washing away the grit that has blinded me these past few weeks. It has built up slowly so I barely noticed the caking and the gradual loss of vision. But then I awoke with a start to find I could no longer see.
What had happened?
When had the world and the enemy with his lies crept in? Oh, but he was sneaky and the lies he told me sounded so much like the truth I wanted to believe.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The leaves are strewn asunder, on muddy ground torn up here and there by myriads of tennis shoe shod feet braving the puddled ground in hasty departure to class. The storms blew though so suddenly, in the midst of a week of pure bliss. Sunshiney days full of singing birds, barren trees, and 70 degree says hearkening the end of winter.
This, the beginning of the end as it were, has been the most amazing of seasons. As I prepare to finish this season of life in college and go on to whatever the father has prepared for me, I am amazed at the peace I am finding at every corner.
Perhaps it is the almost eight hours of sleep and regular exercise I have been getting... Perhaps it is the waking up and laying in bed a few minutes extra to lift up the day before rushing off to begin the day of business and productivity. Perhaps it is the constant reminders Papa has hidden for me, in class, in homework, in reading the word... to abide.
To simply be in him and him in me. To rest in him. No easy task while the world seeks to steal our attention, but oh so sweet so have our heart ever romanced by the Son. Oh so sweet to enjoy a beautiful day in communion with the One who made it. to know he is still the Father, ever present and triumphant in the midst of storms, chaos, whatever. And that his love is ever enough. Oh how sweet to rest in this; for though the storms come, a new day will dawn and we will pick up the pieces knowing That our Father still reigns, not distant but present, loving, and his knowledge and plans are unsearchable.
This, the beginning of the end as it were, has been the most amazing of seasons. As I prepare to finish this season of life in college and go on to whatever the father has prepared for me, I am amazed at the peace I am finding at every corner.
Perhaps it is the almost eight hours of sleep and regular exercise I have been getting... Perhaps it is the waking up and laying in bed a few minutes extra to lift up the day before rushing off to begin the day of business and productivity. Perhaps it is the constant reminders Papa has hidden for me, in class, in homework, in reading the word... to abide.
To simply be in him and him in me. To rest in him. No easy task while the world seeks to steal our attention, but oh so sweet so have our heart ever romanced by the Son. Oh so sweet to enjoy a beautiful day in communion with the One who made it. to know he is still the Father, ever present and triumphant in the midst of storms, chaos, whatever. And that his love is ever enough. Oh how sweet to rest in this; for though the storms come, a new day will dawn and we will pick up the pieces knowing That our Father still reigns, not distant but present, loving, and his knowledge and plans are unsearchable.
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