He brings me honor

There is a verse in the Bible about how a woman can save her husband by her faithfulness. I like that idea. It is so full of hope. But I think sometimes here in this house it is flipped.

Sometimes my husband is the one saving me.

This past weekend, Hank attended a men's retreat. He had really been praying about getting some 'guy time' and had been searching out men from our church over the past few months. So when a fellowship in town, a gospel church, hosted a men's conference, hubby was jazzed!

It has been a while since I have seen him this excited! Every night, he came home and shared his pages of notes with me. He would share how fired up the pastors got and how the whole group of men went crazy in worship or shouted their amens and mmhmms and how they made him feel like one of the brothers. Just a very pale one...

I went to my parents house this weekend for a wonderful party that friends threw for my sisters' impending jobs. Emily is going all the way to Rhode Island for the next year to work as a field teacher at a working ranch. Julia is going all the way out to West Texas to work as an assistant camp director. I am proud beyond words for both of them!

When I got home, Hank told me all about his Saturday- the last day of the conference. He told me about how the pastor spoke of the need for a real life change. The theme was 'recover all' and they had talked about how God wants to recover the men's family, finances, spiritual lives and so on. They talked about praying daily for their wives and families and allowing Jesus to infiltrate every area of their lives. They talked about putting actual life change into effect.

When Hank left the church, he saw a lady walking along the side of the road. She asked if he was going into the city and said she had gotten stranded after a night with friends. He offered her a ride and drove her all the way home. On the way, Holy Spirit was prodding him to talk to her about Jesus and His love. Now, you have to understand how scary that is. For some reason, in this free country with a GPS view of the Roman Road and years growing up in church, it is still scary. Most of the time, we are pretty content to go to church, serve where we can, get to know our neighbors a bit and keep our marriage in shape. Most of the time we are thinking about 'evangelizing.'

But Hank just started talking about Jesus and telling this lady how much Jesus truly loves her. And she listened. She had read her bible before and had gone to church, but it was all a bit confusing. So he gave her a place to start an reminding her that yes, Jesus loves her so much.

On Sunday, hubby said he was going to offer to mow our neighbors grass for free. It is grass we have complained about because it can get pretty tall... So he walked over there and bargained with her, trying to get her to accept his offer. She wouldn't pay him less that twenty bucks, but he still mowed her lawn and came home smiling.

And I am a bit in awe. A bit mystified and a lot humbled. Because I don't quite know what to say. I feel so proud of him, so humbled to see him moving and living out these truths and so challenged to find the opportunities that Jesus has given me to love and to serve. And he is bringing honor into this home and he is leading in a deeper and more sensitive way with more wisdom. And I am so thankful. It feels like a grace baptism again and again and the waters are refreshing. I don't ever want to climb out.

Biblical Headship and a Church

Hank and I are still ‘Church Shopping’ as he calls it and the more we shop the more picky we find we are. We want a place where we feel comfortable and at home, we want the people to be friendly but not overly so- in a natural and comfortable sort of way. We want solid worship with songs that have a message of truth not just relevance and repetition. We want a solid preacher who focuses more on the passages and what they say than the topic he picked and what he can find to back it up.

This morning we went to a church that seemed to fit all of those standards- CRAZY right?! Now I am not so naïve as to think it is perfect or that we won’t quickly discover problems if/when we join. Every church has issues just as every person has issues. The church is a lot of people so you just have to multiply the issues x number of  people and you’ll understand.

Nevertheless, we were immediately greeted at the door outside and again right after we entered. A very bald man with a huge smile pointed us in the direction of the coffee(always a good sign) and asked us about ourselves. We (I) got some coffee, talked with the hospitality people and headed into the sanctuary.  The lyrics of the music were mostly hymn-ish but the beat was something you could tap your toe to. We sang and the lyrics were all a message in themselves.

As part of the worship, the singers read scripture and one read in Spanish- the other in English. LOVE.

The pastor got up after worship and made his announcements. As he introduced the topic he said we would be delving into issues that were difficult to discuss. He was right! We started into 1 Cor 11:1-16 and immediately began talking about biblical headship in the marriage and church. I would normally be a bit on edge but he handled it in such a biblical, truthful and honest way. He didn’t apologize for the words of the apostle but showed the principles of modesty and love inherent in the separate roles of women and men. He showed the responsibility of men as reporting directly to Christ on the state of their home and the responsibility of women to let the men lead and to submit. It was soo good. He talked about how partnership and headship are each important in a biblical marriage just as we see them inherent in the relationship of Christ and the Father. They are equal in essence but different in function just as man and woman are.

I felt like he MUST have taken some classes from my bible profs. Hank leaned over several times and made references to the steps he was taking that lined up with the methods we were taught in Biblical Foundations at LeTourneau. “Ok now he is crossing the principalizing bridge…”

Recently I finished reading Calvin Miller’s memoir. It is called “Life is Mostly Edges” and it is honest, refreshing, convicting, funny, sad and triumphant all at once. It is a beautiful testament of a life lived for the Lord- failingly at times but nonetheless for His Glory.

In the end, Miller talks about why he feels the Lord calling him away from the ministry of pastoring a successful, growing and thriving church to become a seminary prof. He says that God called him away from the church for the sake of the church. He felt himself no longer what the church wanted and maybe even needed. He had always sought to be a scholar-pastor and what they wanted was a relevant community leader. They wanted, in many ways, someone who was more interested in the church softball league signups that the etymology of a specific word in Greek.

From his perspective, he saw that the church in the emergent movement became more interested in what culture was (and what their place was in it) than what culture should be.

I am not a student of the emergent church and I don’t claim to know much about the ins and outs of the short movement or the current movement we are in. But I think Miller has a point. I think relevance can somehow cheapen the faith by gravitating too much towards what we think the ‘outsiders,’ or the unsaved are looking for. If we become just like that concert they went to than do we really think they will come? The concert is a whole lot more fun and they don’t have to face a crowd of people they feel they don’t belong to.

When they come in, surely it will be truth that draws them. I am not sure that truth must take one form (ex. Hymns and expositional sermons) but it must be Truth with a capital T. It is the truth that Jesus loves but is also just that makes the mercy the more beautiful.

I found myself personally convicted because of the language I use in my own home with Hank. Sometimes I seem to think I am on this journey alone. I say things like “I won’t let our kids do that,” or bemoan our dirty house by saying, “I need to do the laundry and clean the kitchen.” Hank, in his sensitive yet firm way, says, “Dear, we will clean the kitchen together and we will do the laundry.”

I am not in this alone. I have a partner but I also have a man who is very much the captain of this ship. Sometimes it is scary to trust that he can lead us well but the more he loves, the more I trust and it all works out.

Thus I am going to work on changing my language and with it my attitude.

He is my partner but he is also the head of our home and I love him so much for that.

P.s. we were on time for church this morning. This is a major accomplishment and worth noting. J