Biblical Headship and a Church

Hank and I are still ‘Church Shopping’ as he calls it and the more we shop the more picky we find we are. We want a place where we feel comfortable and at home, we want the people to be friendly but not overly so- in a natural and comfortable sort of way. We want solid worship with songs that have a message of truth not just relevance and repetition. We want a solid preacher who focuses more on the passages and what they say than the topic he picked and what he can find to back it up.

This morning we went to a church that seemed to fit all of those standards- CRAZY right?! Now I am not so naïve as to think it is perfect or that we won’t quickly discover problems if/when we join. Every church has issues just as every person has issues. The church is a lot of people so you just have to multiply the issues x number of  people and you’ll understand.

Nevertheless, we were immediately greeted at the door outside and again right after we entered. A very bald man with a huge smile pointed us in the direction of the coffee(always a good sign) and asked us about ourselves. We (I) got some coffee, talked with the hospitality people and headed into the sanctuary.  The lyrics of the music were mostly hymn-ish but the beat was something you could tap your toe to. We sang and the lyrics were all a message in themselves.

As part of the worship, the singers read scripture and one read in Spanish- the other in English. LOVE.

The pastor got up after worship and made his announcements. As he introduced the topic he said we would be delving into issues that were difficult to discuss. He was right! We started into 1 Cor 11:1-16 and immediately began talking about biblical headship in the marriage and church. I would normally be a bit on edge but he handled it in such a biblical, truthful and honest way. He didn’t apologize for the words of the apostle but showed the principles of modesty and love inherent in the separate roles of women and men. He showed the responsibility of men as reporting directly to Christ on the state of their home and the responsibility of women to let the men lead and to submit. It was soo good. He talked about how partnership and headship are each important in a biblical marriage just as we see them inherent in the relationship of Christ and the Father. They are equal in essence but different in function just as man and woman are.

I felt like he MUST have taken some classes from my bible profs. Hank leaned over several times and made references to the steps he was taking that lined up with the methods we were taught in Biblical Foundations at LeTourneau. “Ok now he is crossing the principalizing bridge…”

Recently I finished reading Calvin Miller’s memoir. It is called “Life is Mostly Edges” and it is honest, refreshing, convicting, funny, sad and triumphant all at once. It is a beautiful testament of a life lived for the Lord- failingly at times but nonetheless for His Glory.

In the end, Miller talks about why he feels the Lord calling him away from the ministry of pastoring a successful, growing and thriving church to become a seminary prof. He says that God called him away from the church for the sake of the church. He felt himself no longer what the church wanted and maybe even needed. He had always sought to be a scholar-pastor and what they wanted was a relevant community leader. They wanted, in many ways, someone who was more interested in the church softball league signups that the etymology of a specific word in Greek.

From his perspective, he saw that the church in the emergent movement became more interested in what culture was (and what their place was in it) than what culture should be.

I am not a student of the emergent church and I don’t claim to know much about the ins and outs of the short movement or the current movement we are in. But I think Miller has a point. I think relevance can somehow cheapen the faith by gravitating too much towards what we think the ‘outsiders,’ or the unsaved are looking for. If we become just like that concert they went to than do we really think they will come? The concert is a whole lot more fun and they don’t have to face a crowd of people they feel they don’t belong to.

When they come in, surely it will be truth that draws them. I am not sure that truth must take one form (ex. Hymns and expositional sermons) but it must be Truth with a capital T. It is the truth that Jesus loves but is also just that makes the mercy the more beautiful.

I found myself personally convicted because of the language I use in my own home with Hank. Sometimes I seem to think I am on this journey alone. I say things like “I won’t let our kids do that,” or bemoan our dirty house by saying, “I need to do the laundry and clean the kitchen.” Hank, in his sensitive yet firm way, says, “Dear, we will clean the kitchen together and we will do the laundry.”

I am not in this alone. I have a partner but I also have a man who is very much the captain of this ship. Sometimes it is scary to trust that he can lead us well but the more he loves, the more I trust and it all works out.

Thus I am going to work on changing my language and with it my attitude.

He is my partner but he is also the head of our home and I love him so much for that.

P.s. we were on time for church this morning. This is a major accomplishment and worth noting. J

Finding a Family

       Have you ever had one of those days that is so full of peace and joy and happiness that you just want to savor it like a good piece of chocolate or hit replay like you do that song you love? Well, folks, I had one of those days yesterday.
       Hank and I got ready for church- read, ate, dressed and got in the car. We were headed to visit a new church to see if it would be 'home' but as usual we were running a bit late and this always makes me stress out- even if I am to blame for the tardiness.
      We got to the high school where the church was meeting and walked in to the sound of Hillsong worship and folks singing. The band was made up of an older playing bass- who looked like he'd climb astride a motorcycle any minute, four ladies singing, a young guy on the guitar, and a middle aged man playing drums. Last week we both agreed that the service we went to felt a bit like a performance, but there was no performing here.
     After the service, at least 8 people came up and said hi and actually talked to us. I am fairly accustomed to having people shake my hand but usually that's all that happens. These people actually wanted to get to know us! What in the world?!
     So we talked and people were really excited to see us and to welcome us to the neighborhood. We walked out under the sign that said "You are now entering your mission field," that someone had hung above the door. I liked that being the last image of church. A reminder that it doesn't stop there.

Some of the people at the church told us about a city-wide worship gathering that evening so we decided to go.
       That evening we showed up at the church down the road that was hosting it. I had suggested maybe we skip because we went grocery shopping and were going to be late. But Hank said no, we were going and I am so glad we did.
      We walked in, both feeling a sense of expectancy. In all my years being a believer and running with the church crowd, I had never heard of churches coming together for worship- and they do it four times a year! Yet, as I walked in, I realized I had been longing for this.
      There were people from every different background you could imagine. There were people from the Spanish church, from the charismatic church, from the non-denomitional church (does anyone else find irony in the fact that Non-denom is a denomination?). The black gospel church was well represented. There were sweet little girls twirling around with flags in the aisle next to me. It was INCREDIBLE!

        The seats were nearly all full but we finally found one. It didn't really matter though because we never sat down. We were all up on our feet in full out praise for the entire hour and a half to two hours.
        When I say the Spirit moved, he MOVED. It was so incredible to see people in this city I am just beginning to call home, call on the same Lord and praise his name with passion! On the stage, the incredible beauty and diversity of His people was seen. There was even an older "hippy-lady" singing on stage with a fake sword she would pull out and wave around.
         The sword reminded me of this: we were doing battle. Our singing was releasing angels to fight for His Glory. Our singing was breaking down walls and letting him further in. It wasn't the words or how good they sounded or even the emotional high we got. It was the fact that we were willing to stop everything and be romanced. We were there to lavish love upon our Sweet Jesus and feel him lavish love on us.

I can still remember the first time Hank and I got caught up in eachother's eyes. We just sat there, right in the middle of the Bucket List, and stared at eachother. It wasn't awkward- it was awesome. Those eyes were windows to his soul and I was speechless at the affection I saw in them for me. And that is how I felt last night. It was like all I wanted to do was sit there and stare into His eyes- the eyes of a Savior who only knows love towards me, towards us. He only has good things planned, beautiful things. My Jesus is the creator of beautiful, afterall.
          So many times, when I am at church, I am so focused on singing right or looking the right way when I worship. I worry about what others think so much. At some point last night, I realized it was enough just to enjoy the process. It IS enough to just sing and smile and be filled with joy. The rest doesn't really matter. There is no magic formula. He LONGS to be with me, to enjoy me, to fix his gaze upon me and for me to do the same. It's that incredible heart-connection you can't put in words.
     And it is so good.

So today I am basking in the beauty of a God who waits for me, at the inner court, just to spend some time listening to me and talking. And I know, even as I write this, that he is smiling. Because he loves me, he loves you, and he just loves watching us be who he created us to be.