There is a verse in the Bible about how a woman can save her husband by her faithfulness. I like that idea. It is so full of hope. But I think sometimes here in this house it is flipped.
Sometimes my husband is the one saving me.
This past weekend, Hank attended a men's retreat. He had really been praying about getting some 'guy time' and had been searching out men from our church over the past few months. So when a fellowship in town, a gospel church, hosted a men's conference, hubby was jazzed!
It has been a while since I have seen him this excited! Every night, he came home and shared his pages of notes with me. He would share how fired up the pastors got and how the whole group of men went crazy in worship or shouted their amens and mmhmms and how they made him feel like one of the brothers. Just a very pale one...
I went to my parents house this weekend for a wonderful party that friends threw for my sisters' impending jobs. Emily is going all the way to Rhode Island for the next year to work as a field teacher at a working ranch. Julia is going all the way out to West Texas to work as an assistant camp director. I am proud beyond words for both of them!
When I got home, Hank told me all about his Saturday- the last day of the conference. He told me about how the pastor spoke of the need for a real life change. The theme was 'recover all' and they had talked about how God wants to recover the men's family, finances, spiritual lives and so on. They talked about praying daily for their wives and families and allowing Jesus to infiltrate every area of their lives. They talked about putting actual life change into effect.
When Hank left the church, he saw a lady walking along the side of the road. She asked if he was going into the city and said she had gotten stranded after a night with friends. He offered her a ride and drove her all the way home. On the way, Holy Spirit was prodding him to talk to her about Jesus and His love. Now, you have to understand how scary that is. For some reason, in this free country with a GPS view of the Roman Road and years growing up in church, it is still scary. Most of the time, we are pretty content to go to church, serve where we can, get to know our neighbors a bit and keep our marriage in shape. Most of the time we are thinking about 'evangelizing.'
But Hank just started talking about Jesus and telling this lady how much Jesus truly loves her. And she listened. She had read her bible before and had gone to church, but it was all a bit confusing. So he gave her a place to start an reminding her that yes, Jesus loves her so much.
On Sunday, hubby said he was going to offer to mow our neighbors grass for free. It is grass we have complained about because it can get pretty tall... So he walked over there and bargained with her, trying to get her to accept his offer. She wouldn't pay him less that twenty bucks, but he still mowed her lawn and came home smiling.
And I am a bit in awe. A bit mystified and a lot humbled. Because I don't quite know what to say. I feel so proud of him, so humbled to see him moving and living out these truths and so challenged to find the opportunities that Jesus has given me to love and to serve. And he is bringing honor into this home and he is leading in a deeper and more sensitive way with more wisdom. And I am so thankful. It feels like a grace baptism again and again and the waters are refreshing. I don't ever want to climb out.
Showing posts with label Passion for marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Passion for marriage. Show all posts
Monday, August 20, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
It is for Freedom....
Oh honey. Isn't it hard to break off the chains that somehow get tangled around our ankles as we walk through these life paths? Isn't it hard to shake the nippy dogs of sin that bite our ankles and bark away our peaceful pace?
Oh yes, we know now it is hard. We know that what one does directly affects the other because we, dear, are oh so connected. Connected in an invisible, all consuming sort of way. And sometimes it is hard to feel the connection, to appreciate the union until its strained and torn and then there is only pain. Only pain to wade through as it threatens to choke out the hope and life and joy we have here.
And it isn't a coincidence that we both read Love and War last year when I was in Asia. And it isn't a coincidence that we learned of the war raging against marriage. That the Eldridges spoke truth to us once again of fighting off the lies and breaking the agreements we so readily make with our enemy.
Of praying for one another when all we really want to do is give up, run, stay angry, hide inside our frustration and the pain that binds us.
But we are learning. And it isn't one of those lessons that we can listen to and leave in the pew. Because we are finding out that our guard must always be up. That Satan is not interested in a one-time victory but in demoralizing us and turning us slowly against one another.
And so we fight. We take up the armor you recite over yourself daily- the Ephesians 6 battle gear. And we make new choices and break off old habits and make new ones. Like the habit we have established of asking eachother what lies we believed that day. And as you ask I find that more sneak in than I could have imagined.
And as I share the lies- that I am not as good as that person, not as pretty, not worthy of God's best etc. etc. etc., you speak truth and it flows into the broken places as healing salve. And you remind me that I am loved, that we are in this together, that we will have bad days but ultimately- God has our best in mind.
Darling, it is an honor to fight for you, with you, to be your ezer kenegbo. Your partner, the one who was created out of your side because I am to stand by your side. We are a perfect match and the enemy is no match for our King.
Oh yes, we know now it is hard. We know that what one does directly affects the other because we, dear, are oh so connected. Connected in an invisible, all consuming sort of way. And sometimes it is hard to feel the connection, to appreciate the union until its strained and torn and then there is only pain. Only pain to wade through as it threatens to choke out the hope and life and joy we have here.
And it isn't a coincidence that we both read Love and War last year when I was in Asia. And it isn't a coincidence that we learned of the war raging against marriage. That the Eldridges spoke truth to us once again of fighting off the lies and breaking the agreements we so readily make with our enemy.
Of praying for one another when all we really want to do is give up, run, stay angry, hide inside our frustration and the pain that binds us.
But we are learning. And it isn't one of those lessons that we can listen to and leave in the pew. Because we are finding out that our guard must always be up. That Satan is not interested in a one-time victory but in demoralizing us and turning us slowly against one another.
And so we fight. We take up the armor you recite over yourself daily- the Ephesians 6 battle gear. And we make new choices and break off old habits and make new ones. Like the habit we have established of asking eachother what lies we believed that day. And as you ask I find that more sneak in than I could have imagined.
And as I share the lies- that I am not as good as that person, not as pretty, not worthy of God's best etc. etc. etc., you speak truth and it flows into the broken places as healing salve. And you remind me that I am loved, that we are in this together, that we will have bad days but ultimately- God has our best in mind.
Darling, it is an honor to fight for you, with you, to be your ezer kenegbo. Your partner, the one who was created out of your side because I am to stand by your side. We are a perfect match and the enemy is no match for our King.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Standing on the Ol' Soapbox
Somehow Hank and I were bequeathed a rather large and tall soap box during our dating years. It came as after we decided not to kiss until marriage and grew taller when we made the leap and said the vows and became man and wife.
It is not so much that I mind having a soap box because I rather like "knowing what I am talking about" and it is our soap box happens to be something we are box quite passionate about.
The problem is that there is not much room at the top of our soap box and it sometimes gets a bit scary perching at the top and looking down. Sometimes I realize that, while I have the soap box for purity and abstinence, I don't know all there is to know about the topic. And perhaps what I do know is what I learned when Hank and I were trying to do it right but still messed up.
This past weekend Hank and I went to Longview to our fellowship there. We spoke to a group of teens that hold a very special place in both of our hearts. The purpose of the weekend was to light a fire for purity and abstinence in the hearts of the youth groupies. And yet, even as I think of all the things I could have told them and didn't get time to, I realize that God used the preparation and the weekend to teach me new truths and remind of a bunch I had forgotten. He used it to get Hank and I to look at our relationship again with our spiritual eyes sensitive to counterfeit messages and lies that the enemy has so subtly fed us over the past few years.
God is also in control of what came out of Hank's and my mouth and what actually went in and took root in the hearts of the teens. So I will let that go.
But hopefully I won't let go of the incredible memories of this weekend. Of the times I almost had to pinch myself because it was so evident that Jesus had prepared the hearts of my girls for what I had to share and that He was consistently working out all the details. I couldn't wipe a goofy grin off my face the whole time because it was just so good returning to these ladies that I got to spent the Sunday mornings and Wednesday evening of the past 4-5 years getting to know and studying the Word together.
In so many ways, it felt like going home.
We painted pottery and purses and hung out just talking. We watched "A Walk to Remember" and I cried, unashamed of how much that movie still gets me.
We talked about dating but mostly we just talked about our hearts. In the weeks leading up to the retreat, Hank and I both felt like the Lord was asking us to use John and Stacie Eldridge's two books- Captivating and Wild at Heart. There were moments I seriously considered going to a typical purity book but I never felt a peace about it. So Hank and I reread these two books and were seriously challenged as we discussed the truths and how we wanted to see them lived out in our marriage.
Half the fun was sitting on our couch so many nights reading, writing pages of notes, and interrupting one another to read parts of the books we were chewing on. I think I wouldn't mind a job teaching people about this issue so close to my heart.
As we finished reading the books and began to summarize them into two-three lessons, we realized how the truths we had discovered formed a foundation for purity. In Captivating, the Eldridges talk about how all women live with the questions, "Am I beautiful? Captivating? Am I worth paying attention to? Do I have something to offer?" The way these questions are answered by our parents, loved ones, friends can either wound us or set us free.
One of my colleagues had given me a counseling hand out that discussed the emotional cup all of us have and how we often take in hurt, grief, guilt etc. when bad things happen. When we don't deal with these feelings, they overflow and affect everything in our life.
It was eye opening for me to realize there were lies I was believing that were simmering right under the surface and causing damage to my marriage and my relationships with others.
We talked about spiritual warfare and how Satan has a vendetta against each woman because we bare the image of God in our beauty and in our nurturing natures. We talked about getting our love tank filled with God's love so that seaking love from a guy before we were filled with God's love wouldn't even enter our minds. We talked about dealing with issues by taking them to our Daddy. It was so good and yet there is so much more I would have loved to talk about.
Hank felt the same way. And yet, I know without a doubt that God accomplished his plans this weekend. He has opened our eyes again to the war we are fighting for our marriage and for our walks with Jesus. And God has reminded us that we do not fight alone. We are going to keep each other warm on the cold nights and we are going to stand together and fight for each other when our personal battles become too much for us. We are going to speak truth over each other and pray warrior prayers until the chains fall broken and shattered to the ground.
The mandate looks a bit different now that we are married. We are not fighting our emotions and hormones so much anymore. But we continue to fight lies that would masquerade as the truth. And we continue to trust the same great God that guided us and loved us and protected us when we were too weak to protect ourselves.
It is not so much that I mind having a soap box because I rather like "knowing what I am talking about" and it is our soap box happens to be something we are box quite passionate about.
The problem is that there is not much room at the top of our soap box and it sometimes gets a bit scary perching at the top and looking down. Sometimes I realize that, while I have the soap box for purity and abstinence, I don't know all there is to know about the topic. And perhaps what I do know is what I learned when Hank and I were trying to do it right but still messed up.
This past weekend Hank and I went to Longview to our fellowship there. We spoke to a group of teens that hold a very special place in both of our hearts. The purpose of the weekend was to light a fire for purity and abstinence in the hearts of the youth groupies. And yet, even as I think of all the things I could have told them and didn't get time to, I realize that God used the preparation and the weekend to teach me new truths and remind of a bunch I had forgotten. He used it to get Hank and I to look at our relationship again with our spiritual eyes sensitive to counterfeit messages and lies that the enemy has so subtly fed us over the past few years.
God is also in control of what came out of Hank's and my mouth and what actually went in and took root in the hearts of the teens. So I will let that go.
But hopefully I won't let go of the incredible memories of this weekend. Of the times I almost had to pinch myself because it was so evident that Jesus had prepared the hearts of my girls for what I had to share and that He was consistently working out all the details. I couldn't wipe a goofy grin off my face the whole time because it was just so good returning to these ladies that I got to spent the Sunday mornings and Wednesday evening of the past 4-5 years getting to know and studying the Word together.
In so many ways, it felt like going home.
We painted pottery and purses and hung out just talking. We watched "A Walk to Remember" and I cried, unashamed of how much that movie still gets me.
We talked about dating but mostly we just talked about our hearts. In the weeks leading up to the retreat, Hank and I both felt like the Lord was asking us to use John and Stacie Eldridge's two books- Captivating and Wild at Heart. There were moments I seriously considered going to a typical purity book but I never felt a peace about it. So Hank and I reread these two books and were seriously challenged as we discussed the truths and how we wanted to see them lived out in our marriage.
Half the fun was sitting on our couch so many nights reading, writing pages of notes, and interrupting one another to read parts of the books we were chewing on. I think I wouldn't mind a job teaching people about this issue so close to my heart.
As we finished reading the books and began to summarize them into two-three lessons, we realized how the truths we had discovered formed a foundation for purity. In Captivating, the Eldridges talk about how all women live with the questions, "Am I beautiful? Captivating? Am I worth paying attention to? Do I have something to offer?" The way these questions are answered by our parents, loved ones, friends can either wound us or set us free.
One of my colleagues had given me a counseling hand out that discussed the emotional cup all of us have and how we often take in hurt, grief, guilt etc. when bad things happen. When we don't deal with these feelings, they overflow and affect everything in our life.
It was eye opening for me to realize there were lies I was believing that were simmering right under the surface and causing damage to my marriage and my relationships with others.
We talked about spiritual warfare and how Satan has a vendetta against each woman because we bare the image of God in our beauty and in our nurturing natures. We talked about getting our love tank filled with God's love so that seaking love from a guy before we were filled with God's love wouldn't even enter our minds. We talked about dealing with issues by taking them to our Daddy. It was so good and yet there is so much more I would have loved to talk about.
Hank felt the same way. And yet, I know without a doubt that God accomplished his plans this weekend. He has opened our eyes again to the war we are fighting for our marriage and for our walks with Jesus. And God has reminded us that we do not fight alone. We are going to keep each other warm on the cold nights and we are going to stand together and fight for each other when our personal battles become too much for us. We are going to speak truth over each other and pray warrior prayers until the chains fall broken and shattered to the ground.
The mandate looks a bit different now that we are married. We are not fighting our emotions and hormones so much anymore. But we continue to fight lies that would masquerade as the truth. And we continue to trust the same great God that guided us and loved us and protected us when we were too weak to protect ourselves.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
He always knows what I need
*Update on the job search: I have applied to over 19 jobs in various fields. Still seeking which way I should go in the search. Have an appointment tomorrow to speak to someone about teaching ESL. Please pray!
Today was one of those days where I had to choose to keep going, choose to have a good attitude, choose to believe in the seemingly impossible. It was one of those days when I heard so many lies I had to sing truth back into my marrow in order to just stay grounded.
This job searching is harder than I thought it would be. I was naive in believing a college degree would guarantee a job I loved. Well, I still believe that job is out there but I am learning a bit about adulthood and the tenacity needed to press through times like this where no's are more common that yes's.
Funny though how Jesus knows exactly how I am feeling and what I need. In a particularly low moment this afternoon, Hank called me with fresh excitement in his voice. He had a new idea for me and couldn't wait to share it. This morning in the shower (great place to think right?), he had what he called an epiphany. He got this idea to start a blog/website/online community to help encourage and fan the flames of passion for marriage. So, that is what we are planning now. What would that community look like? I am not sure but I am excited to discover it.
Part of me worries that we are being rather presumptuous. We have only been married four months (as of yesterday-YAY!) and we are still technically newlyweds. What do we have to share with older couples who had weathered the storms much longer than we? Perhaps instead of telling them what we think we can gather their voices into one grand chorus in a place where others might come for encouragement and to seek truth.
So my question for you is this: What would you include in an online marriage community? If you were building it, what features would you want it to have (such as advice, polls, scripture study, stories etc)?
Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
We want to share the passion we have with the world. Hopefully in sharing we will be able to continue to be as excited about marriage as we are now.
Today was one of those days where I had to choose to keep going, choose to have a good attitude, choose to believe in the seemingly impossible. It was one of those days when I heard so many lies I had to sing truth back into my marrow in order to just stay grounded.
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| (photo of Hank and I at the Grand Canyon) |
Funny though how Jesus knows exactly how I am feeling and what I need. In a particularly low moment this afternoon, Hank called me with fresh excitement in his voice. He had a new idea for me and couldn't wait to share it. This morning in the shower (great place to think right?), he had what he called an epiphany. He got this idea to start a blog/website/online community to help encourage and fan the flames of passion for marriage. So, that is what we are planning now. What would that community look like? I am not sure but I am excited to discover it.
Part of me worries that we are being rather presumptuous. We have only been married four months (as of yesterday-YAY!) and we are still technically newlyweds. What do we have to share with older couples who had weathered the storms much longer than we? Perhaps instead of telling them what we think we can gather their voices into one grand chorus in a place where others might come for encouragement and to seek truth.
So my question for you is this: What would you include in an online marriage community? If you were building it, what features would you want it to have (such as advice, polls, scripture study, stories etc)?
Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
We want to share the passion we have with the world. Hopefully in sharing we will be able to continue to be as excited about marriage as we are now.
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