Rested and Ready

        It was perfect timing really. I couldn't have seen it coming and was still complaining just before it came. But in the midst of a job I struggled in and as the doors swung wide for me to be certified as a teacher, it came. An interview I thought would happen five months ago and I longed for job offer.
     And I can see it now, mostly, that His timing was perfect through and through. That if this had come sooner, I wouldn't have learned those hard lessons- about putting forth hard effort when I am mostly frustrated, about trusting the Lord when I am doing filing rather than saving the world. And teaching, well I would have taken it for granted. Just as I did when I taught in Asia.

Taken in Seattle last Summer. So thankful for new seasons, fresh starts and the waves of His Mercy.

      And now it is a great gift. The pleasure of teaching, laughing with those students, seeing the joy of learning creep across faces and feeling his pleasure as I teach. It is so good.
       Next year I will be teaching four year olds at a small school. It isn't glorious but it is good. I am a little terrified but so thankful. He has provided me with just what I asked for- a job working with kids, not far from home. And more than I asked for- a teacher to work with and learn from who will help me along in this new path. And more- a chance to get certified! I look back in amazement at all the doors he opened while I continued to complain. I can be pretty ungrateful and blind at times.

    But now I am oh so thankful and oh so excited. It is small really, but I see the bigness in it. The great task of teaching young ones and building up a strong foundation of His Love, His mercy, His Word. And I checking out stacks of books on parenting youngsters and the young mind. It feels like a crash course in four year olds. And I never knew I would draw so much from babysitting experience but when it is all you got...

    So here we are, once again, thankful. Perhaps one day I will learn to be thankful even when I can't see what he is doing.


Please feel free to post some advice for working with four year olds. Thanks!

Canticles

Funny how I can pray in the morning for the Lord to fill my day and then go the next eight hours without even a wink in his direction. I get frustrated and tired and I keep thinking that there is some secret cure for my ADGD (Attention Deficit for God Disorder). I am not sure there is a secret cure but I discovered something this week.

   I finally downloaded a message from one of my favorite churches. The lady speaking talked about how she  found the habit of daily praise. She was at a conference and the speaker would stop randomly and say 'Praise the Lord,' or 'Alleluia." She thought it was pretty weird until the speaker explained that she had an invisible clock strapped to her waist that would vibrate and remind her to worship God every 10 minutes. 

Ingenious!

While I haven't gone out and purchased my little waist watch, I told Hank about it and we have started to remind eachother. He randomly said "God is Good" a few days ago and I looked at him funny. Well yes He is but what brought that up?? He told me he was trying to learn to worship. 

So I went outside today to eat lunch and watch the storm clouds gather over the city and He brought me all kinds of reminders of His presence. Birds flew up into the trees right near where I sat and they sang and perched proud of their beauty. 

And He brought rain- something that makes my heart glad. 

And in the midst of the sporadic worshiping (because I do still forget a lot), he is changing me. This job I struggled to have a good attitude in, he is giving me JOY. The impatience I tend to have with people, He is giving me Love. The dissatisfaction I sometimes feel with life, He is reminding me that He works all things together for GOOD. 

So Praise him. In canticles and car problems and hope and in heartbreak. 

Providence

Yesterday morning I got in my car around 8:24 prepared to rush off to work. Twenty minutes earlier, while trying to make my lunch, I spilled nearly the whole bowl of quinoa and black bean salad I had made the night before. My nerves were tense and I had already run inside a few times to grab various items I had forgotten. With little thought, I plunged my key into the ignition with all the force of my anxious impatience and cranked the engine. It turned and then nothing happened.

 Just like that I was car-less, anxious and in a hurry. Can you spell d.i.s.a.s.t.e.r.? Hank and I hurriedly moved my stuff to his car and off I went. On the way to work my mind was moving almost as fast as my tires. I was stressing out about how much it would cost and whether I would be late to work when I just sort of stopped and realized how futile and silly my train of thought was.

First of all, I had so much to be thankful for. The car could have stopped working the day before or the day after when Hank had to use his car for work. As it was, he was working from home Friday and didn't need it. Second, we have been taking a Dave Ramsey course at a local church and just got our $1000 emergency fund finished. We know where the money will come from to fix my car. I finally know what financial peace feels like. God is good and his timing is not lost on me.

Thirdly, Hank and I are taking Monday off to go to the local stockshow and rodea and were going to work today (Sat) to make up for it. Fortunately, I was able to call my boss last night and he was able to go to work with his vehicle while I basked in the beginning of a needed three day weekend.

Hank flew to Brenam this morning and I am slightly jealous of the hamburger he had for lunch. We have been doing a cleanse this week and cutting out certain (MOST) foods in order to get our bodies in check. It has been good and I find I am enjoying the benefits of eating uber healthy, but MAN, Sometimes I just need chocolate! More on the Cleanse later.


Peace.

Plowing on Patient

Ever been in a place where you desperately want to know the answers to the future? It sort of helps me understand ouiji boards and future tellers a bit more. If I didn't know that it was all in God's hands and in his timing, I might be tempted to consult one of those mediums.

    As it is, I have taken up pleading prayers that I might have discernment for the days ahead. It is scary when those dearly held dreams don't seem to be working out so dreamily in real life.

I am feeling the need to let go of the well thought out plans I had for my life and just trust that Papa knows my desires, my dreams, my skills as well as my weaknesses, the things I can't stand and would loathe doing.

He knows it all and more. He has made me lots of promises and He never breaks them. He has promised this one familiar one, that he has GOOD plans for me. He has plans to prosper this marriage, this girl, this home, our ministry, my job.

    Several years back I read a book by Elizabeth Elliott. I highly recommend her books (especially Passion and Purity for teens). She talked about how the Lord called her to put her hands to the plow and not turn back. To focus on His will and His call no matter what obstacles got in the way.

   You probably know that she had a few obstacles. In fact, she had some that would absolutely knock me flat and make me seriously consider crawling, no running all the way back to my comfort zone. Her husband was killed by indians she later went to share the Gospel with. Dang. That is a real woman.

    Lately I am hearing that gentle refrain. To keep going. To not turn back. I don't plow these fields of life alone. Jesus walks with me and honestly, he pushes the plow most of the time. When I let him.

   So while I wait to find out exactly what will happen with my job and dreams, I am going to keep plowing in the ways I know to. I will seek to worship even if it is just in the car on my way to work. And I will seek His face- even if it is just a few minutes before rushing off. Because He keeps me going down the long rows of furrows and fallow.

   And he knows what I need each step of the way.