He brings me honor

There is a verse in the Bible about how a woman can save her husband by her faithfulness. I like that idea. It is so full of hope. But I think sometimes here in this house it is flipped.

Sometimes my husband is the one saving me.

This past weekend, Hank attended a men's retreat. He had really been praying about getting some 'guy time' and had been searching out men from our church over the past few months. So when a fellowship in town, a gospel church, hosted a men's conference, hubby was jazzed!

It has been a while since I have seen him this excited! Every night, he came home and shared his pages of notes with me. He would share how fired up the pastors got and how the whole group of men went crazy in worship or shouted their amens and mmhmms and how they made him feel like one of the brothers. Just a very pale one...

I went to my parents house this weekend for a wonderful party that friends threw for my sisters' impending jobs. Emily is going all the way to Rhode Island for the next year to work as a field teacher at a working ranch. Julia is going all the way out to West Texas to work as an assistant camp director. I am proud beyond words for both of them!

When I got home, Hank told me all about his Saturday- the last day of the conference. He told me about how the pastor spoke of the need for a real life change. The theme was 'recover all' and they had talked about how God wants to recover the men's family, finances, spiritual lives and so on. They talked about praying daily for their wives and families and allowing Jesus to infiltrate every area of their lives. They talked about putting actual life change into effect.

When Hank left the church, he saw a lady walking along the side of the road. She asked if he was going into the city and said she had gotten stranded after a night with friends. He offered her a ride and drove her all the way home. On the way, Holy Spirit was prodding him to talk to her about Jesus and His love. Now, you have to understand how scary that is. For some reason, in this free country with a GPS view of the Roman Road and years growing up in church, it is still scary. Most of the time, we are pretty content to go to church, serve where we can, get to know our neighbors a bit and keep our marriage in shape. Most of the time we are thinking about 'evangelizing.'

But Hank just started talking about Jesus and telling this lady how much Jesus truly loves her. And she listened. She had read her bible before and had gone to church, but it was all a bit confusing. So he gave her a place to start an reminding her that yes, Jesus loves her so much.

On Sunday, hubby said he was going to offer to mow our neighbors grass for free. It is grass we have complained about because it can get pretty tall... So he walked over there and bargained with her, trying to get her to accept his offer. She wouldn't pay him less that twenty bucks, but he still mowed her lawn and came home smiling.

And I am a bit in awe. A bit mystified and a lot humbled. Because I don't quite know what to say. I feel so proud of him, so humbled to see him moving and living out these truths and so challenged to find the opportunities that Jesus has given me to love and to serve. And he is bringing honor into this home and he is leading in a deeper and more sensitive way with more wisdom. And I am so thankful. It feels like a grace baptism again and again and the waters are refreshing. I don't ever want to climb out.

Loads of Laundry...

           It has been a while since I had so much energy. I have new respect for career women. Goodness me, you work all day and then come home to a house that needs cleaning, plants that need watering, people that need feeding and maybe you can squeeze in some alone time to read, write, create etc. Maybe.

   Hank and I don't even have any kids yet and it still seems busy. This past week I was offered a position teaching another refugee ESL class. I admit I am nervous. These are people from across the world who likely have never learned to read or write. We are started with the basics- ABC's and numbers. How do I even begin a class like that?? "I am" (point to self) "Kelsey." "My name is" would even be too much.

    So, it is definitely going to be a stretching experience but I am excited. Also, this puts me back working two jobs but I have a gracious boss who is letting me leave work early to get to the class. Thankful!

    Today, in preparation for the crazy week ahead, I cleaned the house. It was dirty. Plain and simple.
Hank was gone flying most of the day, so I headed out to garage sales this morning and was triumphant. *Praise the Lord! We needed a weed eater and a 7' ladder. I got both for a steal!
 
    Once home, I attacked the laundry, swept the floors, cleaned the dishes and then read alot. It was one of those beautiful days that is not quite too hot but sunshiney and perfect. It was a day to be thankful for this moment, this stage in life, this house to clean and a class to pray and prepare for. It was much needed rest.

    Hank and I went on a walk to the nearby park and around the track of the elementary school around the corner. We talked about life and then made salads for dinner. We discussed our garden, our families, the upcoming week. It was just good.

     And now we are looking forward to a lovely Sunday. Hank has been really busy flying this week. I think that everyone is calling to make up for the slow first week of May. He even has a flight tomorrow! But again, I am thankful. He has a job that he enjoys. We are learning and becoming more dependant on our Lord for our strength. When he leaves,  I don't pine away for him(most of the time). I get busy or do a craft or (as will be the case tomorrow) I lesson plan!

It is for Freedom....

   Oh honey. Isn't it hard to break off the chains that somehow get tangled around our ankles as we walk through these life paths? Isn't it hard to shake the nippy dogs of sin that bite our ankles and bark away our peaceful pace?
    
 Oh yes, we know now it is hard. We know that what one does directly affects the other because we, dear, are oh so connected. Connected in an invisible, all consuming sort of way. And sometimes it is hard to feel the connection, to appreciate the union until its strained and torn and then there is only pain. Only pain to wade through as it threatens to choke out the hope and life and joy we have here.
   
 And it isn't a coincidence that we both read Love and War last year when I was in Asia. And it isn't a coincidence that we learned of the war raging against marriage. That the Eldridges spoke truth to us once again of fighting off the lies and breaking the agreements we so readily make with our enemy.
   
Of praying for one another when all we really want to do is give up, run, stay angry, hide inside our frustration and the pain that binds us.

    But we are learning. And it isn't one of those lessons that we can listen to and leave in the pew. Because we are finding out that our guard must always be up. That Satan is not interested in a one-time victory but in demoralizing us and turning us slowly against one another.

   And so we fight. We take up the armor you recite over yourself daily- the Ephesians 6 battle gear. And we make new choices and break off old habits and make new ones. Like the habit we have established of asking eachother what lies we believed that day. And as you ask I find that more sneak in than I could have imagined.

  And as I share the lies- that I am not as good as that person, not as pretty, not worthy of God's best etc. etc. etc., you speak truth and it flows into the broken places as healing salve. And you remind me that I am loved, that we are in this together, that we will have bad days but ultimately- God has our best in mind.

    Darling, it is an honor to fight for you, with you, to be your ezer kenegbo. Your partner, the one who was created out of your side because I am to stand by your side. We are a perfect match and the enemy is no match for our King.