Hank and I got ready for church- read, ate, dressed and got in the car. We were headed to visit a new church to see if it would be 'home' but as usual we were running a bit late and this always makes me stress out- even if I am to blame for the tardiness.
We got to the high school where the church was meeting and walked in to the sound of Hillsong worship and folks singing. The band was made up of an older playing bass- who looked like he'd climb astride a motorcycle any minute, four ladies singing, a young guy on the guitar, and a middle aged man playing drums. Last week we both agreed that the service we went to felt a bit like a performance, but there was no performing here.
After the service, at least 8 people came up and said hi and actually talked to us. I am fairly accustomed to having people shake my hand but usually that's all that happens. These people actually wanted to get to know us! What in the world?!
So we talked and people were really excited to see us and to welcome us to the neighborhood. We walked out under the sign that said "You are now entering your mission field," that someone had hung above the door. I liked that being the last image of church. A reminder that it doesn't stop there.
Some of the people at the church told us about a city-wide worship gathering that evening so we decided to go.
That evening we showed up at the church down the road that was hosting it. I had suggested maybe we skip because we went grocery shopping and were going to be late. But Hank said no, we were going and I am so glad we did.
We walked in, both feeling a sense of expectancy. In all my years being a believer and running with the church crowd, I had never heard of churches coming together for worship- and they do it four times a year! Yet, as I walked in, I realized I had been longing for this.
There were people from every different background you could imagine. There were people from the Spanish church, from the charismatic church, from the non-denomitional church (does anyone else find irony in the fact that Non-denom is a denomination?). The black gospel church was well represented. There were sweet little girls twirling around with flags in the aisle next to me. It was INCREDIBLE!
The seats were nearly all full but we finally found one. It didn't really matter though because we never sat down. We were all up on our feet in full out praise for the entire hour and a half to two hours.
When I say the Spirit moved, he MOVED. It was so incredible to see people in this city I am just beginning to call home, call on the same Lord and praise his name with passion! On the stage, the incredible beauty and diversity of His people was seen. There was even an older "hippy-lady" singing on stage with a fake sword she would pull out and wave around.
The sword reminded me of this: we were doing battle. Our singing was releasing angels to fight for His Glory. Our singing was breaking down walls and letting him further in. It wasn't the words or how good they sounded or even the emotional high we got. It was the fact that we were willing to stop everything and be romanced. We were there to lavish love upon our Sweet Jesus and feel him lavish love on us.
I can still remember the first time Hank and I got caught up in eachother's eyes. We just sat there, right in the middle of the Bucket List, and stared at eachother. It wasn't awkward- it was awesome. Those eyes were windows to his soul and I was speechless at the affection I saw in them for me. And that is how I felt last night. It was like all I wanted to do was sit there and stare into His eyes- the eyes of a Savior who only knows love towards me, towards us. He only has good things planned, beautiful things. My Jesus is the creator of beautiful, afterall.
So many times, when I am at church, I am so focused on singing right or looking the right way when I worship. I worry about what others think so much. At some point last night, I realized it was enough just to enjoy the process. It IS enough to just sing and smile and be filled with joy. The rest doesn't really matter. There is no magic formula. He LONGS to be with me, to enjoy me, to fix his gaze upon me and for me to do the same. It's that incredible heart-connection you can't put in words.
And it is so good.
So today I am basking in the beauty of a God who waits for me, at the inner court, just to spend some time listening to me and talking. And I know, even as I write this, that he is smiling. Because he loves me, he loves you, and he just loves watching us be who he created us to be.
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