Tonight T and I went to babysit for the most precious children. They belong to a couple who works for our organization and help with the language school here in Changchun. Both husband and wife have been in China since 1999, and met here (now that is commitment!). As they welcomed us into their home, I noticed some beautiful things.
First, it was a home. A homey home. There was a little christmas tree with a few gifts wrapped underneath, a piano and two couches in the living room along with a big bookshelf and family pictures. The floor lamps made everything so warm. The kitchen was small but perfectly adequate and well organized. She had cookbooks and tea and cookies in little containers and pictures on the walls to make everything feel more cozy. There were american spices abounding and I could tell she liked to bake. When we came in, the little boy of 2 said hi and welcomed us in. He was well-behaved and showed us his bedroom, his toys, and explained everything as he played.
I have never met a more particular child. He lined up all his trucks and didn't move them because they were 'parked for the night.' We pretended to wash our hands with soap and played hide and seek and then he 'read' us a book he had memorized. He told great stories and his eyes would get really big with the excitement or the passion he felt telling them. It didn't matter that we could only make out 40-50% of what he said due to his two year old speech, their was joy in watching him tell it. When we sat down to eat, he grabbed our hands to lift up the meal. He thanked the father for his parents, his baby sister and many other things. It was PRECIOUS.
His baby sister was the best baby I have every babysat in my whole entire life. She is beautiful with BIG blue eyes and long lashes and she never cries. Even when we put her down for her nap, she didn't cry but rolled over and fell asleep. When T got her up after an hour, she work without crying. I didn't know children like that existed. She sat quiet and content while her big brother ran around and he would run up and gently kiss her forehead and run away again. It was beautiful.
I have to admit that it gave me a lot of hope for having kids in a foreign country. I mentioned this to the dad when they returned from their date and he said it was actually easier in some ways, harder in others. He said both he and his wife feel having kids in China is a new level of commitment to the country.
I thought about that statement a lot. In many ways, having kids in China is the same. You have to care for them and they need the same basic things. In other ways it is different because you must teach them to adapt to the Chinese culture and prepare them for American culture. He said that kids don't have a choice but he and his wife chose China and they think about that.
In some ways, I don't think living overseas is completely my choice. It is but it is also at the guidance of the father.
If he can move me here, can't he also ordain a whole family to live in another country? But what about culture shock and moving around and the stress of helping your kids make friends in other countries... Only he can help one cross these hurdles.
Another thing I noticed about the couple was how unified and at peace they were. The husband spoke for both of them. Such a simple and yet profound thing. There apartment and their children seemed to be quite secure in their love and at rest in their lives regardless of the fact that they lived in China.
On their fridge there was a quote that seemed to sum it up well: " Successful parenting isn't measured by what you can force to change in your kids but by what you allow the father to change in you."
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